Dr. Greg Smalley draws from research, counseling, and his own marriage to reveal the benefits of conflict and how to fight productively.In this counterintuitive book, author Dr. Greg Smalley maintains that fighting is actually good for a marriage. When couples fight, they have the opportunity to get to the real issue lurking below the surface about money, sex, in-laws, kidDr. Greg Smalley draws from research, counseling, and his own marriage to reveal the benefits of conflict and how to fight productively.In this counterintuitive book, author Dr. Greg Smalley maintains that fighting is actually good for a marriage. When couples fight, they have the opportunity to get to the real issue lurking below the surface about money, sex, in-laws, kids, etc. And that real issue, Dr. Smalley says, is fear—fear of rejection, inadequacy, or powerlessness, to name a few. What assuages these fears are things like intimacy, respect, validation, love, and connection. Learning to take advantage of the opportunity that conflict provides is what this book is all about. The good news of Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage is that conflict—when handled correctly—is the doorway to intimacy and under-standing. As Dr. Smalley leads readers through the many faces of conflict, he is open and candid about his own marriage and the unproductive fights he and his wife have had. He uses his fears and emotional triggers as examples to help read-ers discover their own. Couples will learn how to fight their way to a better marriage, using the skills, concepts, and exercises shared in this remarkable book. *** Typical marriage fights = money, sex, in-laws, and kids. But what if fights could = trust, respect, intimacy, and understanding? WHAT IF CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE COULD BE A GOOD THING? The truth is that marriages and spouses can’t grow without conflict. Some of the many values of conflict include: * An opportunity to break old, ineffective patterns * A way to guard against being too comfortable or too complacent, which breeds mediocrity and boredom * Insight into your own personal issues * A window for viewing each other’s deepest feelings and needs * Reduction of tension as emotions are vented and stress is released * Greater trust and intimacy after pushing through difficult and heated conversations * Higher levels of marital satisfaction every time you manage the conflict well * The sole reason we have the amazing experience of makeup sex...
|Title||:||Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage: How Healthy Conflict Can Take You to Deeper Levels of Intimacy|
|Number of Pages||:||256 Pages|
|Status||:||Available For Download|
|Last checked||:||21 Minutes ago!|
Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage: How Healthy Conflict Can Take You to Deeper Levels of Intimacy Reviews
I read this with a small group at my church with our pastor guiding our discussions. I don't know if I would have got as much out of the book without my pastors leadership. But I did enjoy reading with my husband and working together through the book.
For those of us that have been married for any length of time, we are bound to come to an impasse of sorts. Call it a disagreement, a conflict, an argument or even a fight, but they are bound to happen. No one can simply agree on everything all the time. Even those in personal relationships can nod their heads yes, that this is simply a part of a relationship. However in marriage those issues are likely about, money, sex, in-laws, and kids. But what if instead they could simply be about trust, respect, intimacy and understanding? Is it possible that conflict in a marriage could be a good thing? I think the answer is YES!!! I personally believe that unless you have conflict, you can't grow.In the book, Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage, Dr. Greg Smalley, author and Executive Director of Marriage at Focus on The Family, takes a deep look into how these conflicts within our marriages can lead us to deeper intimacy in our relationships. He takes readers into his own struggles in his marriage and shows us how some of those fights didn't produce the desired results and how he has subsequently learned from them in an effort to show us how we can grow from our own situations. The book illustrates the following areas I am sure you can relate to: Breaking old ineffective patternsWays to guard against being too comfortable or too complacent, which breeds mediocrity and boredom. Reduction of tension as emotions are vented and stress is released. Higher levels of marital satisfaction every time you manage conflict well. Dr. Greg Smalley show cases just how we are programmed to react when someone or something pushes our buttons and how we can change how we have always reacted to those times. Maybe it's one of these situations:The drive-through line is too long at your favorite coffee place or fast-food restaurant. You wake up to dirty dishes in the sink (One of mine).Your favorite TV show or game didn't record. There's a long wait at the doctor's office.Someone cuts in line. Your child tracks mud or spills something on your clean floor. A driver tailgates. Feeling a little stressed? Perhaps you can even add a few items to this list. Dr. Greg Smalley shows us how we can often times store that up and unfortunately release this irritants on our spouse when they had no control over them, what I like to refer to as a silent, ticking time bomb, just waiting for the right light to our fuse. The best part about this book is we can change how we react to things and work towards making things better in our relationships. The road is never easy but the results are well worth it in the end. I received Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage compliments of Howard Books, a division of Simon and Schuster Publishers for my honest review. I am always looking for ways to improve and make my own personal marriage better and some of the ideas, Dr. Smalley shares is bound to hit home for some of you. You begin to see ways to improve things on your own end, instead of simply handing the book to your spouse telling them they desperately need to read this. We all need to be personally responsible for dealing with our own issues in marriage and working together I think, we can all grow and have the marriage we have always imagined if were are willing to try. I rate this one a 4 out of 5 stars.
*** Regardless of how long married, this new release has something for every couple***Contrary to popular opinion, Dr. Gary Smalley, Focus on the Family, teaches “conflict can take you to deeper levels of intimacy,” the subtitle of his November 6th release, Fight Your Way to a Better Marriage. Where readers learn conflict is not only needed, conflict is necessary. Smalley argues, relationships “…can’t grow without it.” He also says, ““…if couples learned to work out their conflicts, the overall divorce rate could be cut by over 50 percent.”He begins with the “reactive cycle,” illustrated by a diamond shaped diagram with “buttons” at the top and bottom framed by “reaction” buttons on either side. Arrows point from one to the other to illustrate a cycle of conflict. However, the buttons represent superficial issues that conceal underlying emotional “triggers” formed from childhood experiences.Such triggers, shaped by early “wounds and messages,” take root deep in our hearts to become the “deepest beliefs” we hold about ourselves. The wounds fester and produce messages of rejection, failure and lack of self-worth that when converted to emotional triggers produce a “reactive cycle.” Smalley writes these are “lies written on your heart,” the title of chapter two, …Full Review: http://tinyurl.com/a2jgbjw
I'm reading this book as part of a couples small group. The book never aligns with the video, which is confusing. The content is not bad, but it's clear that it's better suited for couples married 10 years or less.
This book has some great tools on resolving conflicts and how to build a stronger marriage through the inevitable conflicts.
I liked it. I rented it from the library so I had limited time to delve into it but it was good
This is a great book to learn some skills and reveal some areas of improvement, or to start healing a very broken relationship. You learn all about healthy conflict and how it can bring you closer.
Life ChangingI am struggling in my marriage. For 13years I have been lost in this void. This book has opened my eyes and I can't wait to put this new tools into play.